"Too many men today are walking around holding an emotional umbilical cord in their hand, looking for a place to attach it. I suppose they intend to feed off someone else’s strength so that they’ll never have to learn how to find food on their own."
Howard Hendricks doesn't mince his words in the book he co-wrote with his son, William, "As Iron Sharpens Iron"; the entire book is built around the premise of Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so a person sharpens his friend." (NET)
The book has 3 main focuses, plus helpful appendices:
Finding a mentor
Hendricks encourages each person to have a "Barnabas", a "Timothy" and a "Paul". It is logical therefore, that he would start the book by ensuring that the reader is being discipled biblically before he or she sets out to mentor or disciple another.
Some people take issue with the term discipleship for various reasons, and Hendricks addresses the differences between mentoring and discipling. There is very little difference between the two processes, but he claims that mentoring is all about one man influencing another. In relation to discipleship, he says,
There is one Lord, Jesus Christ. He is the only Person to whom we should ever cede total control of our lives.
Discipleship, as we know it today, tends to narrow its focus to the spiritual dimension. Ideally it should focus on every area of life ... discipleship always looks at these areas by asking the question, how do they relate to Christ?
There is a great deal of overlap (between mentoring and discipleship).
Being a mentor
This book is very practical and gives lots of "how-tos". On being a mentor, Hendricks makes a call for mentors, outlines what a mentor does (should do!) and how to start mentoring.
Hendricks reflects on the need and call for leaders, and quotes Bennis:
At the heart of America is a vacuum into which self-appointed leaders have rushed. They pretend to be leaders, and we - half out of envy, and half out of longing - pretend to think of them as leaders.This reflection is so sad and so true in our society. Perhaps people are not stepping up as leaders because they are not being influenced by other leaders and mentors. They are not being spiritually and scripturally discipled.
There's a challenge to question what motivates the reader to input into peoples' lives:
Are you building people only to the extent that they serve the purposes and programs of your institution, or in light of the gifts and opportunities that God has given to your people?... and he also challenges men not to lose heart, but to make their lives count, even in light of disappointments and failures; to not give up, but to realise the worth of their experiences.
At some point a man has to move from success to significance. Otherwise he's a dead person walking around in a body.Mentoring and discipleship is not just for men - it's for every person; man, woman and child. The scriptural application is not gender specific or gender-exclusive.
Peer mentoring
Hendricks describes peer mentoring as
men about the same age and at a similar level of maturity who have bonded together to support each other and grow together.He cites the relationship between David and Jonathan as the premier peer mentoring example:
Although mentoring is all about influence, Hendricks makes an all-important qualifying statement:Humanly speaking, that relationship didn't stand a chance. By all rights, Jonathan should have succeeded his father, Saul, to the throne of Israel. But God rejected Saul in favour of David. So Jonathan and David should have been rivals. Instead, they became inseparable friends, forming such a close association that the Bible describes the soul of Jonathan being "knit" to the soul of David (1 Samuel 18:1)
... you should always compare anything you hear ... with scripture and the testimony of the Holy Spirit. If someone is telling you something that does not resonate with what the Bible and the Spirit says, it's off-base, no matter how good it may sound.
Appendices provide guides for starting off in mentoring. Always a very practical writer, this book is written in the manner in which Hendricks would have spoken it personally. At time of publishing this blogspot, the book was listed at $13.44 on Amazon.com.au
Reference: Hendricks, Howard G. &William D., As Iron Sharpens Iron, 1995, Moody Press, USA